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I don’t want to be the selfless Mother Teresa of herpes.It’s far more fun to be the loud, controversial and brilliant Kanye West of herpes.Everyone with genital herpes can join us regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation or gender. Here’s another pet peeve of my email inbox: when a man (because it’s almost always a man) asks me if he should continue seeing this woman he’s been dating who just told him she has herpes.
On the other hand, herpes itself honestly isn’t that big of a deal for most of us.
In retrospect, if my ex-boyfriend had known he had herpes and told me before we started dating, I wouldn’t have done anything differently, and I would still have herpes today.
That’s because when we met, he was gorgeous and charming and his status wouldn’t have put a dent in how attracted to him I was. One talked to his doctor about how it might impact an existing condition he had.
When it came down to the brass tacks of who I am, there was no decision to be made at all.
In the past I have made room for the discomfort of strangers who do not want to date someone with an STI.
But too often my impulse to capitulate to people who stems from a desire to seem chill. At the end of the day, STI stigma is a form of prejudice.