Overcoming obsessions with dating
According to research conducted by psychologists Albert Wakin and Dorothy Tennov, you actually can be obsessed with your ex to the point where it becomes dangerous.It's called "limerence."Limerence is, according to Wakin and Tennov, when someone spends a large amount of time trying to get over their ex, but, for whatever reason, are completely unable to move on.I once spent an incredibly long time trying to get over someone, and I never thought I would.
Things that once brought a smile to your face can suddenly become irritating.It drives you nuts.”It turns out that limerence is a universal feeling, despite not being very scientifically understood.In fact, there are entire internet forums dedicated to people confessing their limerence, saying things like “What's the point of living if 1) I can never have him and 2) I can never get over him?Initially, the patterns of ROCD might seem like simple insecurity in a relationship that will dissipate with time. Relationship OCD can seemingly create problems out of nowhere, but your misgivings can still be evaluated. Although it might seem counterintuitive, let your partner know what you're feeling.ROCD, however, is characterized by a strengthening in response to time and the deepening of a relationship, and it often serves as a form of sabotage within an otherwise healthy partnership. If the answer to either of these questions is no, continue the next two steps. If you have a persistent feeling that something is not quite right with your partner, give yourself a time limit for falling down the rabbit hole, and see if you can find a legitimate reason. This may be difficult at first, but discussing your disorder with your partner can help your partner understand your unique needs and some of the behaviors associated with ROCD that they may have been blaming themselves for previously.
After you break up with an ex, your brain still needs to fulfill the craving that it felt in the beginning of your relationship when you were falling in love.