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It’s is one of the most important things you can do.
Giving back is a great way to keep perspective of how great your relationship is—and how lucky you both are. Don’t pull a Carrie Bradshaw during the Aiden years: If you bemoan the fact that your relationship is going well, you might need to revisit why you’re constantly seeking out drama. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt, but if it’s really bothering you, don’t be afraid to bring it up.
Bringing home a pack of their favorite candy/magazine/book by a favorite author never gets old. Out of blue one day, initiate a high-school style make-out session. Being able to listen to each other—even when the details are mundane—is important.
Let that be your motto when you’re giving your partner advice. Remember all the amazing things that brought you from then to now. One unexpected night, surprise your partner with a home-cooked meal and a nicely-set table. Let him or her know that you notice the little things he or she does by saying “thank you” for routine tasks like walking the dog or picking up groceries.
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They can either deal with it or they can’t, but if you can’t be your most honest self with this person, it’ll come out eventually. We’re not talking changing your laugh or your style, but if you know that your partner really hates it when you leave the kitchen counter cluttered, try to make a point of clearing it off before he/she gets home. Think of your relationship as a creative challenge.
You’re there to make each other feel like your best selves, so let the genuine praise flow freely. It’s an easy enough thing to do and it makes their day better, so why not? If your partner’s day sucked and yours was just “eh,” let them have the pity (and the control of the remote, and the choice of take-out). To keep the romance fresh, come up with new date ideas, new sex positions, and new ways to demonstrate your love.
Do volunteer work, exercise, host dinner parties—find what satisfies you, and go from there.
Make an effort to understand you and your partner’s conflict habits, so you can break bad patterns and find a middle ground that’s productive and respectful.
For example: We aim to spend more time together outside rather than in front of the TV.